Fatal Choices

Since the last two blogs were about depression, I thought I'd wrap up the short series this week by writing about a character dealing with the illness in my first novel, The Devil's Pawn.

In The Devil's Pawn, the main character, Robin Wilder, is struggling with depression due to the tragic death of her toddler son, Jacob. Her child died six years before the story begins, and yet the plot reveals how her damaged state of mind has crippled her behavior. Robin's guilt has taken control of her emotions.

It is a fact that when a person suffers from depression they may exhibit obvious signs such as sadness. Anyone who looks at them can see they are unhappy. However, Robin suffers the from the undetectable signs. She endures feelings of worthlessness and guilt. Unseen by those around her, these symptoms cause her to have a hard time making decisions and concentrating.

Robin, unable to live in the home where she wanted to raise Jacob, packs up and leaves the state. She finally settles in Heritage, SC. In this small town, she lives the pretense of a normal life as a novelist and creative writing teacher at the local college. After a time, Robin allows herself to fall in love again. Hardy Shaw proposes, but Robin hesitates to accept because she doesn't believe she deserves to be happy again. She is still unable to forgive herself and holds onto the blame for her son's death.

Robin's facade unravels when a stranger uses her son's death to threaten her then murders Hardy. When a student's warning leads to the young woman's murder, Robin realizes she must confront her past guilt and find the killer before she, or someone else she cares about, becomes the next victim.

Can you relate to Robin's situation? Has something traumatic happened in your life that caused you to find yourself making all the wrong choices? I look forward to your responses.

What Is It About Writers And Depression?

Last week's blog was about my bout with depression. This week I'd like to write about other authors who had battled with the illness. While researching this topic, I found many authors who had suffered from depression. This urged me to ask the question: Is having a creative mind synonymous with depression?

For this blog, I've chosen four authors for examples: Sylvia Plath, Earnest Hemingway, and two contemporary writers: Kelsey and Tim.

I'd like to begin with Sylvia Plath. I remember studying her poems in college. I sensed both anger and sadness in her words. Plath was an author and poet who has been described as a 'great talent in great darkness.' She described her time of hospitalization for depression as:

"[a] time of darkness, despair, and disillusion--so black only as the inferno of the human mind can be--symbolic death, and numb shock--then the painful agony of slow rebirth and psychic regeneration."

On February 11, 1963, after carefully sealing the kitchen so her children would not be harmed, Sylvia Plath took a bottle of sleeping pills and stuck her head in a gas oven.

About.com Sylvia Plath – Poet, Author/ Great talent in great darkness/ From Marie Griffin, Guest Contributor

Earnest Hemingway was one of America's greatest writers who also suffered from depression. He was another author whose stories I studied and enjoyed in college. Hemingway battled with his demon for years.

"What is known is that he was a very heavy drinker and a very depressed man... Some believe that certain members of Hemingway's paternal line had a genetic condition or hereditary disease known as haemochromatosis, in which an excess of iron concentration in the blood causes damage to the pancreas and also causes depression or instability in the cerebrum. Some three weeks short of his 62nd birthday, he took his life on the morning of July 2, 1961 at his home in Ketchum, Idaho, with a shotgun blast to the head."

Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_did_Ernest_Hemingway_commit_suicide#ixzz1HM7LBF5e

In a Mail Online article, “Can Depression Ever be Good for You?” by Professor Jerome Wakefield, two contemporary writers who battle with depression gave opposite opinions.

Kelsey is an author and former editor of Cosmopolitan Magazine. She said, no, depression is not good for you. Kelsey writes that:

The problem with that statement [can depression be good for you?] is that when you are in the grip of depression, you can't focus on anything other than your own misery... Am I grateful for being bitten by the black dog? Was losing my will to live good for me? No, Professor Wakefield, it was not.

However, author and journalist, Tim Lott says, yes, depression can be good for you. Lott writes:

Depression can lead you to reevaluate your life, examine your priorities, and get to know yourself better. Hence the saying that 'breakdown can be breakthrough'. After the breakdown of a relationship, in my early 30s I suffered a breakdown which led me close to suicide. It also led in my case to a successful book about depression, The Scent Of Dried Roses. In that sense, mine is an atypical experience.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1123083/Can-depression-EVER-good-Six-writers-share-views.html#ixzz1HM2QtY1U


What are your thoughts on depression and writing? Do you think depression can be good or bad for you? If good, in what way? If bad, in what way?

You Deserve An Apology

I'm sorry I've been gone for so long, but I'm back with a sincere apology and an explanation.

If you've never seen the movie, “The Legend of Bagger Vance,” I'd like to suggest you watch it. If you do, you'll better understand where I'm coming from. You see, like Rannulph Junuh, the main character in the movie, I'd lost my 'authentic swing.'

Rannulph was a championship golfer. He was the best! He was in love with Adele and they were going to be married. Then he was sent to war where he became the leader of a squad. He gave the order for his men to advance and attack, and he was the only survivor of that bloody battle. That would leave anyone traumatized.

After the war, Rannulph didn't return home for twelve years. When he did, not only could he no longer respond to the love of his life, Adele, he also was unable to play golf. So, God sent an angel in the form of a vagrant named Bagger Vance, and the long road to recovery began.

How did I lose my 'authentic swing'? My life fell into a whirlwind when a painful shock and a succession of overpowering troubles threw me into depression. The thing about depression is, you don't really know you're in it until you start coming out of it. You just know something isn't right. I had what I'd heard called, 'a numbness of heart' – when the senses and feelings have become so overwhelmed with heartache, the person no longer feels.

So, I quit writing. I didn't want to write, or think about writing, or do much of anything else. I had no desire for anything. Of course, with that, I packed on more pounds than I care to admit. Why? Because I was busy pretending everything was okay. I didn't want anyone to know how empty I felt inside, and how I was struggling.

As Maya Angelo says in her poem, “I Wear the Mask,” I wore a mask. A plastic smiley face telling the world everything is perfect, yet I felt hollow and sad. I behaved as society expected me to behave, when inside I was in agony.

How did I overcome the depression? I prayed. A lot! I know the best place to go for comfort and healing of a broken heart is to Jesus. Every day I asked the Lord to heal my heart and He did one better. Are you surprised? I'm not. Whenever I least expect it, He does what I ask and more. He also healed my life. He gave me back my passions. My passions for writing and for living!

I began writing again. A little at a time. This healing did not happen overnight. It was a long process, but I've learned some valuable lessons.
1.I must let go and let God handle things.
2.I am not the one in control. When we try to control everything in our lives, we are in for a rude awakening.
3.When we hand our troubles over to God, He gives us a peace that no person can give us.
4.God also gives us the strength to go on while He is healing our heart.

I'm so glad to be writing and blogging again. I welcome any feedback and opinions.
Have any of you suffered the same agony? If you'd like to share, I'd like to listen.
photo by:kvelez2188.blogspot.com

The Important Thing We May Forget

 

One little thing we may forget while writing a story could make the difference between a sale and a rejection. So, that little thing turns out to be not so little after all, doesn’t it? What is that little thing; our character’s goal.

Our characters must have at least one goal.  They must each have a dream or a desire; something they are working toward or wish to acquire.

Your character’s goal could be what makes or breaks the story. For example; sometimes the goal is something the character desires so desperately he/she will do anything to get it. This type of goal seems to fit right in there with motive. It makes the reader wonder if  the character wants it so badly he’d kill for it? It also makes the reader care about the character acquiring that goal.

Now doesn’t that add an element of suspense to the story? Doesn’t that keep the reader glued to his/her seat and the pages turning?

In The Complete Guide to Writing Fiction, author Barnaby Conrad writes that:

Memorable characters have goals, attitudes, and qualities which keep them from conventional responses. They are briny, perfervid, driven beings caught up in some quest or vision. . . Les Miserables would lose most of its bite if a laid-back Inspector Javert limited his pursuit of Jean Valjean to weekends and holidays; there would be no dramatic thrust if Captain Ahab was less than full-throttle in his seek-and-destroy mission against the white whale; there would be no Maltese Falcon if Brigid O’Shaugnessey, Caspar Guttman, and Joel Cairo had stopped short of murder and duplicity in their quest for the fabled black statuette.

While the goal of a character may seem like an unimportant matter to some writers, we must see that a character without a goal is equivalent to a book without a story to tell.

Do you agree or disagree? Why? How desperately do your characters want what they want, and how far would they do to get it?