NOW THAT IT'S FINALLY FINISHED. . .

I’ve finished my fourth novel, MURDER IN CYPRUS HOLLOW, and it’s available for purchase. Ah, now for basking in the warm glow of achievement. I puff a sigh of relief, get comfy on my laurels, and then set my sights on the next book.  Right? 
 
Wrong! Not happening, partner. For some reason only the sun, moon and stars know, I can’t. Once again I seem to have fallen into the depths of that pit of doubt: the story isn’t good; the title isn’t ‘catchy’; the opening won’t grab the reader’s attention; people won’t like it. . . I should’ve, could’ve, would’ve. Blah, blah, blah! Yada, yada, yada.

What do I do now? I take a few moments to regroup. I know the book is finished, and done to the best of my ability. People have read and truly enjoyed the other three novels. So why is it that each novel haunts me?

Part of my regrouping process is reading the posts of other authors.  I’m glad I do because I learned most other authors go through the same emotions. Even painters go through this. It’s like a ritual. So, what should I call this ritual? Writer’s remorse? That overwhelming sensation of doubt after finishing a project we desired and slaved over for a long period of time. That’s what it feels like. 

Years ago, when I first started writing novels, I thought when I finished one I’d say, “Good. You’re done. Now, on to the next one.” That hasn’t happened yet. Well, I also learned by reading other author’s blogs that the ‘I can’t let it go’ feeling also is perfectly normal. It’s like withdrawal.

So, I go through the withdrawal and eventually move on. Obviously! If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have four novels written and waiting to be purchased. I just don’t like feeling crippled when I should feel ecstatic. Quit complaining, right?

The solution to this writer’s dilemma? Deal with it! I have too much work to do to wallow in my anxiety. Now, on to book five.

What about you? Have you experienced writer’s remorse? If so, please share your experience and what you do to get yourself back to work.

MURDER IN CYPRUS HOLLOW

My fourth novel, MURDER IN CYPRUS HOLLOW, the first in the Hattie Blitch Mystery Series, is finished and ready for publication. The book will be available for purchase in a few weeks. In the meantime, I've attached a copy of the book cover and would love to know what you think of it.

 MURDER IN CYPRUS HOLLOW

Professional blogger and amateur sleuth, Hattie Blitch along with her husband, Skyler, the sheriff of Cyprus Hollow, SC, investigate a body found floating in the waters of Carolina Carlyle’s nineteenth-century plantation. The couple returns to the plantation after Carolina’s employee finds a three hundred year old pirate flag and treasure map, then vanishes.

Carolina’s discovery of her employee’s body in the plantation woods, in addition to the first body having been found on her property, reignites the town’s rejection of her pirate ancestry.

The double murders compel Hattie to use her research savvy to discover the killer’s identity, and race to prevent Carolina from becoming the next victim.

Dealing with a Difficult Person

Button-pushers. They get on that last nerve all the while oblivious to the damage they cause in another's life. Anyone dealing with one could use a word of encouragement. They’re rude, inconsiderate, disrespectful, intrusive, self-absorbed and insensitive. They are the difficult people in life. The button-pushers.

It’s nerve-wracking to confront a difficult person or put them on the spot to find they always blame someone else. That they remain convinced it’s some other person’s fault and not theirs at all is mind-boggling.

So, what’s a person to do? Dealing with a difficult person can be frustrating and exhausting, and anyone currently in that position could use some encouragement. First, pray for the difficult person. It may be hard to pray for someone who constantly rubs the wrong nerve and drives everyone crazy, but the prayer isn’t just for the button-pusher. It’s also for the one praying. Ask the Lord to open that person’s eyes to the truth of the situation. Also, pray for healing in the relationship, whether the button-pusher is a spouse, child, friend or boss.

The most powerful weapon any Christian has is prayer. Dr. John Townsend hits the mark in, Handling Difficult People, when he writes, “The problem of all problems in a button-pusher is that he does not own, or take responsibility for, the issues that affect his life and those around him” (52). He adds that some button-pushers act as though the world revolves around them. They are constantly talking of their troubles and barely paying attention to someone else’s and, “They have a diminished capacity for empathy for the feelings of others and perceive other people as nagging, blaming, persecuting, controlling, or —worst of all— insignificant” (23).

According to Dr. Townsend, another answer is to develop a vision. To keep an image in mind that encapsulates a goal with the purpose of helping through the dark times. (50) One way that he suggests doing this is to see in the mind’s eye things a person would like from their button-pusher, “such as closeness, safety, intimacy, respect, freedom, thrust, and mutuality” (52). He goes on to mention that the vision would include an image of the button-pusher “being open to being wrong, to being sorry, to hearing how he affects you, to seeing himself as a contributor to the problem, and to entering a process of change if needed” (52).

While the struggle to make headway with a difficult person can be tiring and distressing, it’s not impossible. Dealing with one doesn’t have to be to the detriment of those around him. Instead of becoming frustrated and blowing your testimony, consider what may happen by praying for the person and developing a vision for a positive change. Chances are, the button-pusher won’t be the only one who changes.

Learning to Conquer Fear

The following is an article I wrote for Suite101.com and thought I'd share with you. I'd love to hear what you think.

Restoring Peace and Joy in our Hearts

Lacking a sense of peace? Feeling fearful of situations? Battling negative or anxious thoughts? If you can relate, don't worry, there is hope.

The negative feelings we battle with are the devil’s deception to keep our stomachs in knots, our minds confused and to stop us from enjoying our lives. Fear comes in several forms. We could be struggling with it and not even realize it. In its obvious form, fear is a sense of panic. Less obvious forms include dread, worry, anxiety and guilt.

In her booklet, Don’t Dread, world-renowned minister and teacher, Joyce Meyer states that, “The devil uses fear in forms we don’t always recognize to steal our joy and prevent us from living the kind of life God intended” (5).

At some time, we have all dreaded something. Maybe it was going back to work on Monday or finally doing an unpleasant task that we put off for weeks. Meyer also says that when we think about things that we need to do we can become overwhelmed and dread doing them (36). Simply put, dread steals our joy, ruins a good mood and leaves us with a sense of gloom or despair.

Most of us have also worried about things such as losing our jobs, making the mortgage payment and the increasing cost of food and utilities. Worry turns our focus from God and the things we should be concentrating on, to things we usually have no control over. Colossians 3:2 says to, “Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.”

Another form of fear is anxiety. Many of us have become anxious about beginning a new job or meeting people for the first time. That would be considered normal. We need to come to expect that new and unexpected situations are a part of the norm of life. However, when we are constantly anxious about imaginary situations, such as the possibility of a deadly illness or a terrorist attack, then we have a problem with anxiety. While both are possible, we should not allow ourselves to focus on such thoughts. Joshua 1:9 states, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Guilt is the form of fear we usually try to cover up or suppress. However, God gave each of us a conscience and, though we try, we can’t escape the feeling. Sometimes our guilt haunts us, or we try to justify our wrong to relieve the guilt. We also stifle or deny it until the feeling passes. If we do it long enough, eventually we’ll become desensitized to feelings of guilt.

So, how do we overcome the feelings we battle and find ourselves giving in to? First, we need to set our minds to recognize the symptoms in our lives before they overpower us. And the best way to recognize them is through prayer. We should ask the Lord to open our eyes and show us when they are creeping in. Another way would be to speak with a trusted friend, someone we could pour our heart out to.

Finally, the most powerful way to overcome fear is through the Word of God. Speak the scriptures. Hebrews 4:12 states “The word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit” (NKLV). Throughout the Bible, God tells His people, as He tells us today, not to fear or worry. He is in control.

Learning to Conquer Fear: Restoring Peace and Joy in our Hearts | Suite101.com http://mary-j-maciejewski.suite101.com/learning-to-conquer-fear-a29915#ixzz1qiBj2Db6