Guest Blog From Carol Riggs on Dialogue

As a believer in ‘Show Don’t Tell,’ Carol’s July 14, 2010 blog http://carolriggs.blogspot.com/ doesn’t simply point out the errors in dialogue use, but ‘shows’ how to correct them by example .

Image by:rubypencilediting.com

WEDNESDAY MAKEOVER: DIALOGUE
There are two extremes with writing dialogue. One is narrating and describing lengthy feelings and thoughts in the middle of a conversation to the extent that it breaks up the flow of the dialogue and makes the conversation hard to follow. Don't be afraid to carve some of that out and leave a streamlined back-and-forth without the "he said" and "she said" tags. The other extreme in writing dialogue is to have a conversation totally without tags or hints about what the main character is thinking or feeling--or rambling on so long the reader is in danger of losing track of who is talking. The best course of action is usually something in between.

DIALOGUE SAMPLE:
       Amy stormed into her room, where her little sister Mitzi sat giving Veterinarian Barbie a severe haircut with Mom's material scissors.
       "Where's my necklace?"
       "What necklace?"
       "You know the one. The one I got for Christmas, the one with the stars on it."
       "Dunno. Haven't seen it."
       "I bet you have."
       "Nope."
       "Liar. I saw you flicking at it yesterday when it was hanging on my lamp."
       "Then why are you asking me if I've seen it?"
       "Stop being a brat! I need to wear that necklace for tonight's party. The last time I saw it you were fiddling with it, so you had to have done something with it."
       "I didn't move it. You probably moved it yourself and forgot. Or Mom knocked it off when she was vacuuming."
       "Mom didn't vacuum yesterday. She did it Friday."
       "She always vacuums on Saturday."
       "Not this week. She did it a day early because she had to pick up Ryan from basketball."
       "I don't know, you creep! Leave me alone."

COMMENTS:
While there is a good back-and-forth going on here, it's pretty stark. We don't want to add so many descriptions and tags that it starts to bog down the conversation flow, but the natural rhythm of the dialogue and the clarity of the passage could be improved if we added a few tags and actions. In the case above, for starters, the first dialogue line needs a tag in order for the reader to be 100% certain that it's Amy saying the first line (especially since that first line is on a new line/paragraph).

REWRITE:
       Amy stormed into her room, where her little sister Mitzi sat giving Veterinarian Barbie a severe haircut with Mom's material scissors.
       "Where's my necklace?" Amy said.
       Mitzi didn't look up. "What necklace?"
       "You know the one," Amy growled. "The one I got for Christmas, the one with the stars on it."
       "Dunno. Haven't seen it."
       "I bet you have."
       "Nope." Mitzi kept snipping.
       "Liar. I saw you flicking at it yesterday when it was hanging on my lamp."
       "Then why are you asking me if I've seen it?"
       "Stop being a brat! I need to wear that necklace for tonight's party. The last time I saw it you were fiddling with it, so you had to have done something with it."
       "I didn't move it," Mitzi said. "You probably moved it yourself and forgot. Or Mom knocked it off when she was vacuuming."
       "Mom didn't vacuum yesterday. She did it Friday."
       "She always vacuums on Saturday."
       "Not this week," Amy said, her fists on her hips. "She did it a day early because she had to pick up Ryan from basketball."
       "I don't know, you creep!" Mitzi cried. "Leave me alone."

The tags included here not only add a little tone and color, but they make it more clear who is talking. They also give clues as to how the characters are feeling (Mitzi not looking up, continuing to snip, Amy's fists on her hips indicating anger or impatience, etc.). http://carolriggs.blogspot.com/

A Little Attitude Adjustment

Image by gastricbypasstruth.com

Last week I suggested we adjust our attitudes and make that day the first day of the rest of our lives. Today, let’s interweave that idea with the last few blogs about avoiding Writer’s Apprehension Disorder (WAD).

Now, let’s add a new twist to that scenario. Let’s see how all this information will line up with our prose and enhance our confidence in writing. 

Face it, writing novels is enjoyable but it isn’t always easy. Yet, somehow we push ourselves and get beyond the ‘hard parts’ with a sense of accomplishment and a new determination to keep going. When the novel is finished, edited and ready to present is when the real work begins. And it is in this stage that many writers’ self-confidence begins to waver and sometimes deflate. Why? Because we’ve sent the work out and were rejected.

Rejection is never easy but we all must face it and learn from it. I know; blah, blah, blah, you’ve heard it all before. Yet, has it really sunk in? How can you tell if it has? Ask yourself what your reaction was to your last rejection? Your answer will tell you if it sunk in or not.

Moving on, now that we’ve learned how to avoid WAG and how to make each day the first day of the rest of our lives, let’s see how adjusting our attitudes from pessimistic to optimistic makes the final steps ─ the road to publication ─ easier.

A few tips to make the adjustment smoother:

1. Refuse self-deprecation. Tell your mind to rebuff thinking such thoughts as, “I can’t do this,” or “So and so is a better writer.” Those are not growth thoughts. Try, “If it’s been done before, I can do it as well,” or “I may be just as good as so and so, but won’t know for sure until I get my work out there.”

2. Don’t cringe at the competition, embrace it. Let’s learn from other writers, the established writers, while continuing to see ourselves as unique writers.

3. Finally, remember only you have lived your life and experienced your experiences as you have experienced them. Others may have had similar incidents but only you experienced them as you had. In other words, only you can breathe life into your characters as you come to understand them from their experiences. The experiences you’ve created for them. That makes you unique.

How have you adjusted your attitude? What changes have you made in your thinking and how have they influenced your writing? I’d love to read your responses.

Today Can -And Should - Be the First Day of the Rest of Your Life

Image by Raphael Castello

I know you’ve heard the saying, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.” Like me, you’ve probably heard it so many times you’ve not taken the time to consider the meaning.

Let’s flip the coin. What are you going to do today to make this day the first day of the rest of your life? What one deed will make today stand out from yesterday and every day before that? How will it ensure tomorrow will be different?

How about some suggestions:

1. Today you finish editing your manuscript.

2. Today you finally send out that query.

3. How about if you change the way you look at your spouse and/or children?

4. Maybe today should be the day you adjust your attitude toward a co-worker or a neighbor.

I could fill pages with a variety of suggestions, however the point is anyone of the decisions you make will change your life. Your life my change in a small way or it could change in a large way. Whichever you choose, go ahead and make today the first day of the rest of your life.

What have you done to see that today is a special day? What attitude adjustments have you made to ensure you maintain your focus? I would love to read your responses.

Progressing Instead of Regressing in Our Writing Endeavors

How to Avoid Developing Writer’s Apprehension Disorder (WAD) Part 3: Worry

So far in our series we’ve discussed dread and anxiety, two potentially crippling symptoms of WAD. In this third and final segment, we’ll discuss worry. The Oxford American Dictionary describes worry as allowing one’s mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles. Who of us is not guilty of doing that?

We worry about the pace of our novels, the structure, the setting and on and on. We also worry about the characters we create. Are they three dimensional or cardboard? Are they the same characters we created for another novel showing up on these new pages?

All authors struggle with these concerns. When it comes to developing characters, even bestselling author Elizabeth George states that, “Sometimes I think I have nothing new to say about anyone. I worry that I’ve already created these people before, in one book or another.” (216; Write Away, Harper Collins, 2004)

How do we control this urge to worry, causing us to slow down in our writing?

1. Move forward. Instead of wasting time worrying about various concerns, allowing them to cause us to regress as writers; we should postpone the matter. Keep writing the novel and save the concerns for the editing stage. You may come to find most of those concerns no longer exist.
2. A better idea would be to release yourself from the burden by praying and laying your worries at the Lord’s feet.
3. Another way would be to quote scripture. For example: “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life.”(Matt.6:27, NIV)
4. Finally, speak with a trusted friend who will help and encourage you.

Throughout scripture we see how senseless and time consuming it is to worry. What do you do to prevent yourself from worrying about completing the writing you have set out to do? Do you have any tips to help writers to stop worrying and continue writing?